Viewer Discretion Advised

My skin is prone to warts. I have gotten them ever since I was a little kid. They aren't gross or nasty (well, except this one planter wart I had on my toe in high school), they are just small little flesh colored bumps. I have this one on my knuckle that has been burned off with liquid nitrogen twice already, and it won't go away. I decided this week would be a good week to get that wart and two others burned off because I start school and work next week. I know they blister up when they are burned off and I didn't want unseemly blisters on my hands with all my classmates and co-workers looking at them.

When the doctor first went to freeze them off she did one little squirt of liquid nitrogen on each wart and then said I was good to go. I basically said, "Look, lady. I want these suckers gone today. I don't want to have to come back for another treatment. Maybe you should squirt more of that liquid nitrogen on them."

WHY.

WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT AMANDA.

I mostly blame my current situation on the second round of freezing.

Right after they got frozen my skin was tingly and uncomfortable for maybe 20 minutes. Then my knuckle, where two of my warts are, started to swell. It was like a blister, but with really really thick skin. My entire knuckle skin was the outside of the blister. I was thinking to myself, "If I were to rip the skin off this blister I would reach the bone." It was so strange. And the wart on my palm wasn't blistering at all.

Three hours later the real fun began.

The real blisters started forming. They were sensitive to the touch, but not bad at all. The one on the palm of my hand looked exactly how I expected it to look.

But the blister/growth on my knuckle was horrendous. I don't even like looking at it. But it being ugly isn't the worst part. The blisters kept filling up and filling up with fluid. By 8:00 at night they were rock hard. Any and every slight movement of my hands hurts.

And I decided this was the worst week of all to get them burned off.

WE ARE MOVING ALL OUR CRAP INTO OUR APARTMENT.

This means boxes and boxes and tons of unloading and tons of hand movement. What. Was. I. Thinking.

Online it says that blisters are "nature's band aids" for burns, but screw that, I needed to drain these suckers if it was the last thing I did.

16 fluid ounces of blister juice later, they went down.

Purloined Package

Now is the season of textbook sales and rentals for college students. Within the last few days David has ordered 4-5 textbooks online that we have been waiting for in the mail. He received his first one yesterday and his second one today. We were at home when the delivery man rang the doorbell, so when we saw him walking away we knew it was a package. The package was from Chegg, a textbook rental company. David was anxious to see what book it was, so he immediately cut the tape and opened the package. He started pulling out random things, telling me out loud what each one was:

"A piece of gum"

"Something from Mary Kay (lip gloss I think)"

"A can of red bull"

"An ad for HuluPlus"

"An ad for Chegg"

"Is there even a book in here?"

And then he looks at the shipping label on the outside of the box and it says "Ceci ____." Oops. This is the roommate that just moved into the house I'm staying at two days ago. We haven't said more than a cordial "hello" to her. I don't know why she got a package from Chegg that had no book in it, but we taped it back up and set it right in front of her bedroom door. 

She'll never know...

P.S. I had David look over this post (like always), and asked him what the title should be. He suggested the one I used. I literally had to look up the definition of "purloined" because I have never heard that word in my life. Where in his brain is there room for odd words like that??

Cookies

I made some cookies for the missionaries the other day. Good old chocolate chip cookies. I have made chocolate chip cookies probably 23,854,739 times in my life. There was nothing that could go wrong.

The recipe calls for "softened butter" and since refrigerated butter is rock hard, I always microwave it. My mistake in the past is that I microwave the butter until the point that it is boiling, basically. I wanted to truly get "softened" butter this time. I microwaved the butter for a few seconds at a time until it wasn't hard as granite anymore, then added it to the sugar/vanilla. The recipe said to beat it until it got "fluffy". Mine looked like little pebbles. The mixture was not sticking together. I figured once I added in the flour and other ingredients it would all work out.

I added all the other ingredients and now the mixture looked like sand.

It was kind of like moon sand. It would stick together if you pressed it together, but otherwise it wouldn't. I tried mushing it together with a spoon thinking maybe there was just a bunch of butter chunks in there that didn't get spread out and that made it dry. 

No luck.

I tried microwaving it so the butter would melt and make the cookie dough more moist.

No luck.

I finally showed it to my mom showing her how weird the cookie dough turned out. This had never happened before. One tiny glance over at the bowl and she asked "did you add the eggs?" Ummmm..... NOPE. How do you forget the only real liquid ingredient in your cookie recipe? You focus too much on the softened butter, that's how. I added the eggs and all was well in the cookie universe.