Blood

Welp. This happened today.

I give plasma sometimes, and today after donating I put my coat on and walked home. I took my coat off to find this gory mess. 

Bricks

Be very careful when carrying a box with a crumbly brick in it close to your mouth. Otherwise the brick will fall, get brick dust ALL in your mouth and down your shirt which will work its way down to the inside of your pants and will be so unpleasant.

I was carrying a box with a crumbly brick in it because in a class we crush a brick to find some of it's properties. I should not have held it so close to my face. And I should have closed my mouth.

Pizza

I ordered a pizza over the phone that I went to go pick up. When I arrived:

Employee: Have you been here before?
Me: Yeah, just one time.
Employee: ...You've paid just one time..?

I misheard his first question. Made me chuckle. 

Shaving

Don't wear capris if you haven't shaved your legs in 3 weeks (literally).

I'm a closet non-shaver. It wastes time, so I hate to do it, but I don't want other people to know because the general population thinks it is gross. In a rush this morning, I put on some capris without thinking about my unshaven legs, and I have been trying to hide them all day long. 

Career Fair

If you are going to a career fair with serious intent to find a job, MAKE SURE YOUR PANTS ZIPPER IS ZIPPED UP!

I rarely wear my dress pants, and when I put them on I get focused on making sure my belt is in the right spot, and totally forget to zip up the fly. I noticed my zipper was down this morning when I went to use the bathroom right before the career fair, thinking "wow, good thing I caught this now." But in going to the bathroom, I did the EXACT same thing and forgot to zip it up again! grumblegrumblegrumble

The Worst

The worst feeling is finishing the second book in a really good trilogy, then finding out the third book doesn't come out for two more months. 

Passwords

Always.

I was really attached to my old password. 

Cranberry Juice

Three months ago I bought a container of cranberry juice for a recipe. I only used 1/4 of a cup, so I had a ton leftover. The juice had been sitting in my cupboard for a while, so two weeks ago I decided to drink some. It was fine. Today I drank some more, but straight from the bottle. After a nice 5-6 gulps, I went to put the lid back on and there was green mold floating in the juice. And not just a little bit. I was soooooo grossed out. I immediately tossed the juice and tried to pretend that I didn't just drink mold.

If you are going to drink from the bottle, check the contents first.

Six hours later and it still gives me the heebie-jeebies just to think about. Ick.

Grass and Cement

It is a 1.2 mile walk from my apartment to BYU campus. This Summer I have been walking to campus to save gas money, get exercise, get fresh air, and put less miles on the car. It is pretty great. But when I started, little did I know how hot it would be, or the beating my feet would take. Every single walk up to campus I sweat through my shirt. It can't be avoided. I have now walked up to campus in 6 different pairs of shoes, and every single pair has given me sores/blisters. Even the comfy pairs. I just am not used to walking that distance, especially with sweaty feet.

I have one particular pair of shoes that hurt every single time I wear them. I wore them today thinking "I have band aids in my backpack. I can just bandage the sore spots and it will be fine." Wrong. For whatever reason, the band aids did not help.

After walking in the painful shoes all day long, I finally decided I couldn't take it any more. On the walk home I went barefoot. Luckily, the walk home is purely residential and there is grass in front of every house. But let me tell you, ladies and gentleman, I never knew there were so many types of grass and cement in the world. This was my barefoot journey.

"Okay, this sidewalk isn't that hot. YIKES that got hot fast! *jumps onto grass* Ahhh relief. Hopefully I'm not allergic to grass like I was as a kid. Ouch! This dead grass hurts! Eek! The cement is hot!

You have your regular grass that I was allergic to as a kid, the dead grass that hurts my feet, the really long grass that I'm afraid to walk on because what if I'm stepping on a black widow, or something? You have the one house on the entire journey that has the softest grass to grace this planet, you have the obstacle course grass that is littered with dog poop, grass that is covered in those little poky balls that fall off trees, and wet grass that has been inefficiently watered in the middle of the day.

Then, in between bouts of walking on grass you have all your cement. There is hot cement, cement in shadow that feels alright, but not as cool as grass, cement with gravel strewn across it that feels like walking on needles, and cement littered with sticky fruit from the bush next to it.

The worst part of the entire journey, though, was crossing the street every block. Asphalt. Is. The. Worst. It never wavers in its bad qualities. Asphalt is always hotter than molten lava. Asphalt never has tress to shade it. Asphalt is always rough and hurts your feet. Asphalt always makes the bottom of your feet black. Asphalt always is the worst part of walking anywhere.

Lay's

I went to the grocery store today for one purpose, and one purpose only: Dill Pickle flavored Lay's.

It turns out that Lime flavor and Dill Pickle flavor bags are the same color.

When you take home the wrong flavor, though, you will know that they taste nothing alike. 

Today was a sad day in the life of Amanda.

Instagram

I am always late on the latest social media fads, so I'm an Instagram newbie (about 2 weeks, now). My VERY FIRST comment EVER on a picture, and this happens:

So you're looking at this picture, and thinking, "What? I don't understand."

I was a camp counselor last summer and thetommyeitel was one of my favorite campers. In his picture he is wearing some of the skinniest jeans I've ever seen, so I said "Those skinny jeans, though." Do you see how his picture has 23 comments? Those are all me. 

My phone went crazy and posted my comment over and over and over again.

And over again. About every three minutes. 

I noticed after it had already posted so many times, and tried to rectify my mistake.

But still, not one of those things you want to happen. Especially on a picture of an old camper when you are commenting on their skinny pants.

Curry

When you make red curry with curry paste that expired a year ago you get brown curry. 

My Brain

You know your brain isn't functioning properly when, after you go to the bathroom, you reach for your seat belt instead of the toilet paper. 

Christmas Stocking

"How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?"

The age old un-answerable question. I don't really care about the answer, but for a year and a half now I have wondered about my own un-answerable question: "How many hours does it take to finish a cross stitch Christmas stocking?"

6 Seasons plus 7 episodes of Supernatural. That's how long. 

I finished my first stocking in about one year. It was horrible and I hated every minute of it. Except when I got to switch which color I was using because the weird nerdy part of me gets excited about that kind of thing. Not to mention this stocking is one large game of "find the mistakes".

 It is pretty messy on the back (the garland especially)

 Santa's eyes are uneven, and his glasses are lopsided

His arm has ALL sorts of mistakes

 I started on my second stocking immediately after. It was a significantly easier pattern, I learned a better cross-stitching technique, and I started the series "Supernatural" at the same time. I love Supernatural, but it is a little too boring to watch without doing something else at the same time. Every time I picked up my cross stitch I turned on Netflix. 133 episodes later and I have a finished work of art, minus the fact that it isn't actually a stocking yet.

The back is a lot cleaner on this one.

And now we are one big happy family of stockings. YAY.

Pupils

So I went to the eye doctor. I haven't been in years. He put some liquid in my eyes, then it went all weird like in the movies when someone is going crazy. I could see things clearly, but I couldn't focus, and it was the strangest thing.

I come home and look in the mirror to see this:

WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME.

For all you eye-doctor-regulars this is probably so normal, but THIS IS THE WEIRDEST THING I HAVE EVER EXPERIENCED AT IT FREAKS ME OUT TO LOOK AT MY OWN REFLECTION.

Noo-Noo

Me: (singing a song by Katy Perry that I forgot some words to) "If I knew then, what I know now, I would noo noo, noonoo noo noo"
David: "You would noo noo?"
Me: "Hahah I would  noo noo."
David: "I would noo noo all night."

Lesson learned? It's more fun to just go with it. 

Bloody Nose

So I was just on the phone talking to Stef about her engagement, casually picking my nose. I wouldn't even really call it "picking" though. I was more just scraping the sides to make sure it was all clean, and then BAM! I nicked myself. I knew as soon as I didn't. What I didn't know was that it would cause me to have the worst bloody nose of my life. It was pouring out. So gross.

Yes, I stayed on the phone with Stef through the whole ordeal. And if anyone is wondering, I nicked the piece of cartilage stuff separating my two nostrils. Apparently I should cut my fingernails. 

Melted Mallows

You know that metal vent-looking thing at the back of the stovetop? 

Turns out it doesn't just sit there doing nothing. It is a vent for the oven. And when you use the oven it heats up. And melts your bag of marshmallows. 

So I was making this delicious, brownie, marshmallowey goodness tonight that I saw on pinterest.

I had just barely put the marshmallows on it, and I put the bag of mallows on the stove top that wasn't being used. 

A few minutes later the dessert was done baking, so David and I started cleaning up, and that's when we found this.

The bottom of the bag and the mallows there had melted onto/into the oven vent. 

My fingers will probably be sticky for the next week from cleaning this up. 

Jokes

Talking about Valentines Day:

David: "I'm getting you something but it's small."
Amanda: "I know."
David: "I mean, like, really small."
Amanda: "Like a tiny little diamond?"
*laughter*

Manda's got jokes. 

Engineering

It is really common in engineering to take a dog bone shaped piece of material, pull on it, and figure out it's stiffness. We were talking about it in my composites class today and this happened.

Teacher: "Why is it a dog bone?"
Class: "So when the stress concentrations build appear it fails in the middle rather than at the ends."
Me: "Uhh, because it looks like one..."

Toothpaste

I brushed my teeth this morning before David. He went to brush his teeth later and couldn't find the toothpaste.

David: "Amanda, where's the toothpaste?"
Me: "I dunno, why?"
David: "I'm about to brush my teeth and you were the last one to use it."
Me: "I remember using it this morning." *starts rummaging around the cupboard below the sink* "I didn't leave the bathroom. I don't know where I put it!"

We look in all the normal-ish places for a few minutes.

Me: "We have an extra. Just use it."
David: "Okay. The old one was almost empty anyways."
Me: "It was more than halfway full, but thanks for trying to make it better."

Two hours later...

Me: "I FOUND THE TOOTHPASTE!"
David: "Where?"
Me: "In with the q-tips. I didn't even use q-tips this morning!"

How can I tell?

David picks me up from school and I immediately say, "spending a lot of time playing your computer game, eh?"

He wonders how I know.

The headphone dent in his hair will be our little secret...

Haircut

I cut David's hair today with clippers. The plan was that I get to cut his hair however I want, and if it is ugly we will just buzz his whole head. I started with no guard on the clippers. The haircut looked decent, but obviously not professional. We both decided it would be better to buzz his hair.

That's when I noticed I hadn't been as delicate as I had thought when I wasn't using the guard.

I'm just hoping it will grow out in a couple days.

Keys

I went shopping at Old Navy today. I wandered around the store, tried on a few shirts, bought some things, then went out to the car to leave.

My keys were not in my purse.

I started to panic.

I thought I remembered hanging the lanyard my keys are on around my neck, but maybe I took it off to try on the shirts and it was still in the fitting room (I have done this before). I rush back inside and check the stall I was in.

No luck.

I re-check my purse, pulling everything out. We all know I can't find anything I'm looking for. They seriously were not in there. I haven't locked the keys in the car since high school (which I did on a regular basis back then), but maybe I did this time. THANK GOODNESS we have a hatchback trunk that only locks if we manually lock it which we never do. I climb into the trunk, press down the back seat, climb into the front seat, and STILL don't see the keys. I reach in my pockets for my phone to call David on the verge of tears and-

The keys are in my back pocket.

Never in my life have I put the keys in my back pocket. Today I did and today I forgot I did. 

New Year's Eve 2014