Told you so?

If you are the passenger in a car and the driver asks if he is going to hit a pole when you say yes he will be stubborn and keep going forward anyways. He'll hit the car and the gangster guy walking past is going to bust up laughing.

Wearing your hair down, walking in lots of wind, and being able to see where you are walking. Not all three of these things can happen at once. 

Don't walk underneath the overhang of a building. Somehow an icy cold drop will land just right so it goes down your back even though you are wearing a sweatshirt.

Don't peel your hard boiled egg over a trash can with nastiness in it. Right when you finish peeling it will slip out of your hands.

Closing my eyes.

Shiny floors are great. Shiny floors in the bathroom are not. We don't want to see the reflection of the person in the stall next to us on the floor.

If you have been writing on a white board for two hours don't touch your face. All that marker dust on your fingers will get all over you.

If you have two strong co-workers with strong opinions beware of them working at the same time. They might have full on argument that will make you feel extremely awkward. Natalie will try to intercept with a neutral comment and they'll ignore her. It'll be super funny and you'll wish you had popcorn for the whole fiasco.

If the seats in your classroom are really close to each other watch where you swing your backpack. You might accidently hit the girl in front of you in the head with yours.

Snow lungs.

Don't take a deep breath when you are walking outside while its snowing. You'll choke on a snowflake. Also, you might get one in your eye.

Even though it hasn't snowed recently and it doesn't look like it is going to, listen to your roommate when she tells you that its supposed to snow today.

If you have shelf above your toilet be very careful not to set anything on the edge of the shelf. It could fall off into the open toilet bowl.

Laptop in the back.

If you see that there is an open seat in front of someone with a laptop, don't take it. That  laptop will hit your back the entire class and not let you sit up straight in case you bother the person behind you by moving their screen.

If you watch a retarded foreign film at Halloween that involves people going crazy once they see this swirly symbol be careful because you might see that swirly everywhere now.

If you raise your hand in class and make a comment about one of the slides that might result in you being the first person in the class to get candy for making a comment. 

No points.

When you take a biology quiz and have no idea what the answer to one of the questions is saying you weren't there for that lecture and then making up your own answer won't get you any points. Even if that answer was really good.

Sometimes roommates think that when you're sleeping it's less distracting to answer their phone and have a conversation than to simply leave the room.

The day that you look like an absolute bum at school will be the day you see more people on campus than the rest of the semester combined.

Don't do homework at your cluttered desk. You will end up losing three pens in less than five minutes.

Flirtation fail.

All of my stories are about things I have done that were epic failures, but today I'm writing about someone else. Today I witnessed a guy's plans go up in flames and it went a little like this:

So this morning I was lazily sitting in chemistry trying not to fall asleep. Nothing was going on around me and the teachers voice was droning on like I've never heard  droning before. As I casually glanced up from my notes I noticed the couple in front of me. The guy was writing on the girl's paper. I thought this was weird because they could have easily just talked to each other without anyone noticing, but whatever. Then I saw that the girl was responding to him by writing on his paper, so I got a little intrigued. Assuming they were married or something I wanted to sneak a peak at what they were writing. I couldn't see what she was writing, but I could see his. Apparently they weren't married, because these are the things he wrote:

"What's you're name?"

(I don't know what happened between this comment and the next comment, but I'm pretty sure she dropped her pen and maybe asked to use his, or something along those lines)

"You better not steal my pen.

Do you have a bf?

Darn!

Now I'm not paying attention to a thing.

No problem :)"

Ouch! That's gotta hurt. And even better was the awkwardness between them once class was over and everyone was leaving. They didn't say anything to each other. Oh man, I'd hate to be that guy right now.

Not fun.

Finding out your apartment is out of toilet paper sucks. Finding out five minutes after you noticed you started your period sucks even more.

If its really cold outside and raining, but the defroster on as soon as you  get in your car. Otherwise you will start driving and slowly more and more rain will freeze to your windshield completely blocking your view.

If you have a friend who is absolutely obsessed with boys, don't ask her about them. She could go on for hours.

If you know that management is coming to look at your apartment for cleaning checks be fully dressed. Otherwise you'll have to dress as fast as you can when you that knock at the door and your roommate lets them in.

The girl who tripped.

When the girl walking in front of you trips on a crack in the sidewalk, don't full on laugh out loud. You'll probably make her feel like an idiot. Especially if you are alone and can't pretend that someone just said something hilarious.

You know that little piece of skin inside your mouth that connects your upper lip and your gums? Yeah, you can tear that. And it hurts.

When heating up chocolate chips to melt them, take them off the heat the second you see that they have the right consistency. Two extra stirs and the chocolate will get clumpy because its too hot.

Ear muffs during winter are helpful. Realizing this halfway through winter is not.

Winter woes.

If you have known for a while that you are extremely clumsy, stay away from the ice on the ground at all possible costs. Seriously. Otherwise you will be slipping and sliding and falling all winter long. Even if its only slush on the ground.

Check the temperature its supposed to be before you go night skiing. You might end up dressing for -20 degree weather when really its 10-15 degrees outside.

When making cheesecake be sure you have added all the ingredients before you put the batter in the pan. And also before you put it in the oven. Adding the heavy creme and mixing it into a partially cooked cheesecake might not end so well.

If you are cleaning up your pantry and putting the spaghetti in its place, be sure the container is upright. You don't want spaghetti noodles all over the floor where the cleaning supplies are. Including the toilet brush. (Not lying.) The noodles won't be usable.

Casual meeting.

Don't try to be friendly and meet the person sitting next to you during devotional. You will get asked multiple times if he's your boyfriend. And you won't quite remember what he looks like so when you see him later in the day you'll look at him for a bit, then do a kind of cough mumble hello just in case it wasn't him.

Beware of the third floor of the English building. It smells like tuna.

Just because a girl talking on her cell phone in the hallway has a really pretty accent doesn't mean you need to stare her down.

If you see someone coming towards the elevator that you are in, stop the doors from closing. Otherwise you'll feel like a jerk as you and the other person make solid eye contact while the elevator door slowly shuts them out.

Heart attack scares.

Call your Grandma before you go to her house to pick something up. Yelling out that you are present won't help, and she'll come out grabbing her heart because she was so scared she almost had a heart attack.

Don't forget that when all your siblings are married (except one who couldn't show up) and you have a family dinner, you will probably get left out. But hey, at least you get the choice to sit at the 2-4 yr old table or the elderly table.

When shopping for stockings on Christmas Eve every store will be sold out. You'll have to get Santa hats instead.

When you get home from Christmas break before the rest of your roommates, don't forget about that one that is from Belarus and never went home. You'll awkwardly walk in on her in a bath robe.