Poop Everywhere

Poop everywhere. If I had to describe what having a newborn is like, that’s what I’d say. 

Rayne has a nasty habit of only pooping when we are out and about. Mostly when she's in her car seat. Always explosively. So I change her diaper in the car to avoid nasty public changing stations. Poop always gets everywhere. And I always forget to keep a change of clothes for her in the diaper bag, so she ends up wearing Jamie’s extra clothes (she's 3 months, he's 2T). 

And today, a full 2 hours after changing her diaper, I found some dried poop on my arm. Whoops!

Unbuckled

One time, David and I were driving somewhere, and about 5 minutes into the drive Jamie stood up in his car seat and turned around! And that's when we found out that we had forgotten to buckle him in.

Goo Gone

When you and your husband both look for the Goo Gone, swear  it was JUST under the sink, then buy a giant bottle off amazon because it’s cheaper than the small bottle. And less than a week later I found the small bottle RIGHT WHERE WE WERE LOOKING. Omg. 

We use Goo Gone about once a year, so now we have a lifetime supply.

The Goo Gone we couldn't find

The new BIG bottle of Goo Gone with the old smaller bottle still in it's hiding spot.

Chocolate Chips

We don't frequent Costco very often, because we have such a small family. Recently, however, we bought a huge bag of chocolate chips from Costco. I went to open them and this followed:

Me: What the heck? This giant bag of chocolate chips isn’t resealable!
David: What the heck?
Me: *cuts hole in bag*

1 minute later
*sees resealable zipper on other side of bag*

And now I have a rubber band holding closed the hole I cut in the bag. 

Diaper Change

I changed this kid's diaper an HOUR ago, but I accidentally put the diaper on wrong so he wasn't even peeing on it. He was just peeing on his pants/shirt. *eye roll*

Mommy's Little Helper

Jamie likes to "help" us do anything and everything. Sometimes he takes it upon himself to throw things away for us.

Newborns

You know you’re the mom of a newborn when you see yellow stuff on your face in the mirror and ask yourself, “Is that actual baby poop on my face?”

Note: It was mustard. This time.

Let's not talk about this one...

Today, for the first time ever, I got tea bagged.

By my one year old.

Don’t know what tea bagging is? Let me tell you. It’s when some puts their crotch in your face. And in this case, it was some bare testicles that got smashed into my cheek.

It was after bath time, and the child was running around playing naked. Me and David were lying on the floor just chatting. As it always goes, he wanted to be part of the party, so he climbed over MY FACE to get between Me and David. And thus the tea bagging occurred.