Don't assume that just because it's your birthday your roommates will take out the trash and unload the dishwasher. They won't. You will.
If someone says "happy birthday!" to correct response is not "you too!"
If your boss says you don't have to come to work because he's in Idaho, remember that. If you don't you'll waste 20 minutes driving there, an hour doing nothing because you locked your keys in your car, and another twenty minutes driving home.
If you go to eat a cinnamon raisin bagel and don't like chocolate chip bagels then look very closely at your bagel before you eat it. Those might not be raisins.
Never get an apartment below the girls in 107. I don't know what they do late into the morning (see-who-can-stomp-the-hardest game?), but its loud and will keep you awake.
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