When cereal boxes attack.

Beware of cereal boxes. They can slice open your pinky fingerif you aren't careful.

check your hair before you leave for work every day just on the off chance that there is oatmeal in it. It's ebarrassing to have someone else tell you about the leftover breardfast in your hair.

Don't constantly pick at your skin. You will end up with open wounds all over your hands.

When cutting sweet potatoes at someone else's house, it's okay to ask for a bigger, sharper knife. Otherwise when you are almost done the others will look over, laugh that you used such a small knife, then offer you the bigger one while you deny the offer in embarrassment. And your hand will ache for a while too.

Broken teeth.

When making caramel apples don't melt/cook the caramel too long. It will end up being rock hard.

Don't go to grandma's house over Thanksgiving break expecting to eat even semi-healthy. It won't happen.

If your sister tells you to just play it cool with a guy you like, listen to her or else you"ll just give yourself unnecessary stress.

You know that rug burn you got on your hand that took a turn for the worst and developed a scab? Don't pick the scab. It'll just make the wound worse.

If you have an old "friends with benefits" make it clear that those days are over. He might try to get you to makeout again. Your new boyfriend probably wouldn't like that.

You were listening to that whole video?

When watching youtube videos while your roommate is doing homework, make sure your head phones are plugged all the way in. Otherwise a few minutes into watching an alligator video she'll say "you know your headphones aren't plugged in, right?" Then you'll notice they are only plugged part of the way in. Sound was still coming out of the computer. And you might feel like an idiot.

Don't offer to be the "attacker" in a self defense class your roommate is teaching. You might actually get hurt.

When dying your hair pink so you can dress up as Tonks for the Harry Potter movie premier, make sure to get the front of your hair pink before the hair dye runs out. Otherwise when people look at you from the front they won't be able to see the pink. 

When going to a cabin for the night make sure you bring a blanket that will actually keep you warm in the 50 degree basement all night. Even wearing the one piece snow suit you found in the closet to bed won't keep you warm.

When going to a cabin with a bunch of girls, dressing up in the one-piece snow suit you found in the closet and then going on adventures in the huge cabin is always a good idea.

Roommate's shouldn't cut hair.

If you let your roommate (who has never cut hair before) give you a "trim" make sure she knows that a trim means only a short amount. You might end up with a lot shorter hair than you expected.

before the hair was cut

If your gas light has been on for three days, it's probably time to get gas. Being stuck at a red light with a line of cars behind you is not fun.

If your roommate tells you that apartment 107 is watching Harry Potter right as you pass their door, don't put your ear against it to listen. Two of the girls from that apartment might walk up right then. They will think you are such a creeper.

If you have really bad gas, make sure you are never alone with another human. When you let one rip they will know its you. And even if they pretend not to notice, both of you know the truth.

Don't judge me.

Don't promise an old summer camp roommate of yours (who is still in high school) that you'll go to her birthday party if you really don't want to go. You will feel really old and awkwardly stand by the food table the whole time. Then you'll be ashamed to admit the you actually had some fun at a high school party because you forced Kayleen to go with you.

Don't be too stingy to buy lotion in the winter. Your skin will hate you.

If you sleep at a friends house, beware of which blanket you pick to sleep with. If you choose the biggest, fluffiest one you will wake up in the middle of the night soaked in sweat.

Don't tell your family that you like a boy until he is your boyfriend because they will continue to refer to him as your boyfriend even though you guys have barely held hands.

Excuse me! *blush*

Don't eat three pieces of toast for breakfast made with extra fiber bread. You're going to wish you hadn't later in the day.

If you have an eight page paper to write you should put it off until the night before its due. That's what I did and i ended up with 102% on it. Strange, I know.

If you left your phone at home all day, don't go back expecting a text from the boy you like. He didn't text you.

If you are trying to reheat some curry in the microwave, take it out of the styrofoam bowl first. Unless you want the curry to melt/burn through the bowl.

Darn you, Facebook.

If you are acting really boring and dead, it's probably because you didn't get enough sleep last night. And staying up late on facebook so you and your roommate can chat with someone saying the exact same thing at the same time doesn't help the situation. (even if it is one of your favorite things to do)

When talking about cute boys with your roommate, beware. She may confess to you that she had a huge crush on a FOURTEEN year old this past summer. Yes, she's nineteen. "He's so hot" are words you never want to hear about a kid who has not even reached puberty yet.

When you go to take a nap at 10:00 pm so you'll "be more awake to do math homework", don't even try to convince yourself its just a nap. Everyone knows you won't wake up until your alarm goes off in the morning. Therefore math homework will be left undone.

If you are finally, after more than two months, getting the hang of your job, don't get too excited. Your boss will tell you that you have been transferring him from his bed to his wheelchair wrong the entire time you worked there.

Wait... what's the plot?

Don't watch a movie you legitimately want to pay attention to if you are with a super cute boy you have a crush on. You will end up thinking about him the entire time and have no idea what is happening in the movie. Especially once he holds your hand.

When making homemade hot chocolate, read the directions carefully or you might put in four times the required amount of cocoa. (actually, don't read the recipe carefully because extra cocoa makes it absolutely delectable.)

If you are thinking of switching your major, don't take too many classes that count towards your major because once you decide you'll have a bunch of empty credits that count for nothing. And you'll know way more about metals/polymers/ceramics than you ever wanted to.

If your favorite pair of jeans have a hole in the crotch and the zipper is constantly coming down and they look old, just get a new pair. And until you get a new pair your sister Natalie might remind you of how bad they look every time you wear them.

Sorry roommates.

Don't write a post in the midst of your anger. You might regret it later.

Simmer down, girls.

Don't try to convince your roommates the tub is not an emergency. They will get defensive and calmly lecture you (in anger), while implying you fail at life.

In my apartment we have two shower/tubs. One of them regurgitates water and starts to fill up the tub, so we have stopped using it, but I have noticed it only starts filling up when the other shower is being used. When nobody is using the other shower, the water level slowly drops. This morning we had three girls take showers, so the tub was filling up until it was only a few inches below the rim. All of my roommates were utterly freaking out, calling the emergency maintenance line so that it didn't overflow. I tried telling them that it wasn't quite an emergency. It would not overflow because none of us were taking any showers for the rest of the day. Then things turned ugly. Apparently even though the definition of "emergency" is if it will immediately cause damage to the apartment, this is still an emergency. We have a lot of girls with strong opinions living in this apartment, and they proceeded to tell me how dangerous it is and how it will probably overflow during church, despite that the water level has already gone down an inch. Silly girls. 

Don't go on a date to a comedy sports where the host might possibly ask everyone your section to name the last person you kissed. If you have not kissed your date yet, it will be awkward.

If you stay up until four AM to write a paper and have to get up at six, don't look up Chinese rappers like Wang Xiaolei for the whole two hours. Just go to sleep.

Read the recipe carefully.

If you attempt to make cornbread for the first time, make sure to use baking POWDER, not baking soda. It makes a huge difference.

If your name starts with an A, don't be surprised to get three accidental pocket phone calls in one day. Your name is one of the first in people's contacts, so expect to be called often.

The clicker for you car door doesn't work for your apartment door.

If you are particularly clumsy and you are walking up stairs with a friend who is carrying a plate of cookies, make sure you are in front. Otherwise you might trip up the stairs and bump your friend who will fall and drop the freshly baked cookies. But if you are  not afraid of germs, you can pick them up and eat them. They taste good still.

Young and "Freaking" Restless. My Bad.

If you haven't decided on a title for the paper you are writing yet and put in a fake title, don't use "freaking". You might forget to change the title.

Did I do that? Never.

I hear about the opposite of this sometimes, but if you are walking in the halls and hear someone randomly say kind of loudly, "Hey, how's it going?" don't assume they just answered the phone. They were talking to you. Then you'll feel dumb, and they probably will too when they ask again.

If you happen to go skinny dipping/streaking late at night in a river, three words of advice:

1.  Don't forget where you put your keys if your clothes are still locked in the car.
2. Don't streak far from where you parked. A car might come right then, and you will have to sprint back to the car to hide, tearing up you bare feet. 
3.  Don't go in November. It's cold.

 If you put tons of hairspray in your hair for a Halloween costume, don't wait a long time to wash it. Because of the hairspray you won't be able to brush it and it'll get extremely knotted. Plan on using a ton of extra conditioner once you do get around to showering.

Human snails? Interesting...

When going to a Halloween foreign language film festival, just because the first Asian film was scary/confusing/totally wicked, it doesn't mean you should stay for the second one. It will be about people being possessed and turning into giant snails. Not quite what you were expecting. And you will walk ten minutes in the pouring rain to get there. Not worth it. (but kind of worth it so you and your roommates can make fun of it for the rest of the semester)

girl from the 40's, Dr. Seuss's Whos, and Boo from Monsters Inc.

paper towels under the lip. do we look like real Whos?

If you set up a meeting with your math professor in hopes that he'll assure you that you'll pass the class, don't. He'll make you feel worse.

If bread is your favorite food of all time, make sure you are always stocked. The day you run out of bread will be a sad day.

When you are falling asleep in class, watch where you put your hand that's holding the pen. You might end up writing all over your pants.