How can I tell?

David picks me up from school and I immediately say, "spending a lot of time playing your computer game, eh?"

He wonders how I know.

The headphone dent in his hair will be our little secret...

Haircut

I cut David's hair today with clippers. The plan was that I get to cut his hair however I want, and if it is ugly we will just buzz his whole head. I started with no guard on the clippers. The haircut looked decent, but obviously not professional. We both decided it would be better to buzz his hair.

That's when I noticed I hadn't been as delicate as I had thought when I wasn't using the guard.

I'm just hoping it will grow out in a couple days.

Keys

I went shopping at Old Navy today. I wandered around the store, tried on a few shirts, bought some things, then went out to the car to leave.

My keys were not in my purse.

I started to panic.

I thought I remembered hanging the lanyard my keys are on around my neck, but maybe I took it off to try on the shirts and it was still in the fitting room (I have done this before). I rush back inside and check the stall I was in.

No luck.

I re-check my purse, pulling everything out. We all know I can't find anything I'm looking for. They seriously were not in there. I haven't locked the keys in the car since high school (which I did on a regular basis back then), but maybe I did this time. THANK GOODNESS we have a hatchback trunk that only locks if we manually lock it which we never do. I climb into the trunk, press down the back seat, climb into the front seat, and STILL don't see the keys. I reach in my pockets for my phone to call David on the verge of tears and-

The keys are in my back pocket.

Never in my life have I put the keys in my back pocket. Today I did and today I forgot I did. 

New Year's Eve 2014

Lyrics are Hard

David and I were driving in the car and the song "Brave" came on the radio. We both sang along, and at the chorus he sang "I want to see your bridge burn!" instead of "I want to see you be brave!" I had already seen the music video for the song and I knew it was a really uplifting song, so I made fun of him for a few days about that. He continues to sing it that way.

*skip to 50 seconds to hear that line

Also, one of my favorite songs right now, called Radoactive, is named "Ready to rock you" in David's book.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to rag on David, I just think it's funny. I have misheard WAY more lyrics that he has, I just can't think of them right now. But even worse, when I don't know the words I make them up. For example, in the song Royals by Lorde it says "And we'll never be royals....(couple of lines later)...you can call me queen bee!" and when I sing it around the house I forget how it goes so I skip those couple of lines in between and say "And we'll never be royals, laying in a bed of cheese!" 

Things like this. All the time. My brain is weird. 

Public Restroom

So I walked into a stall in a restroom on campus the other day. I shut the door, sat down (hovering, of course; there was no seat cover), did my business, and when I went to zip up my pants I saw that...

MY STALL DOOR WAS OPEN!

Granted, it was only a tiny bit, but that could have had some major embarrassing consequences.

Ladies and gentleman, make sure your stall door is in the locked position before you begin going to the bathroom in a public restroom.

The Elusive Sweatpants.

Today I was got home from school and went to browse the internet to relax a little. My jeans were uncomfortable, so I took them off, along with my shoes, right then and there.

I then went in search for some comfy slippers and sweats. Not very many people know this, but I am awful at looking for things. I can walk past something five times and not see it even though I'm looking for it. That happened today. I scoured our one bedroom apartment for maybe 5-7 minutes looking for my gray sweats and couldn't find them! I gave up and went back to the computer. And that's when I spotted them.

The elusive sweats.

Right next to the computer chair where I had been sitting when I got up to look for them.

Note: I did not move either pair of pants/shoes for comedic value. This is really where they were.

Apparently I had done the exact same thing with my sweats earlier that morning that I did with my jeans in the afternoon.

P.S. David has read this post and responded "That epitomizes you."