Beanie bash.

If you can't decide between the turquoise or blue beanie don't ask the guy that works there, then once he leaves ask the girl co-worker as a second opinion. He will see you ask her, she'll choose differently than, you'll side with her, and then he'll tell you he's a fashion student. He will also tell you what is wrong with your outfit.

Turquoise it is.

Don't plan on doing five hours worth of studying and errands in a mere three hours. It won't happen. You'll pull an all-nighter.

Memorizing the first twenty eight decimal places of pi is ALWAYS worth it.

Give yourself at least two hours each way to make a one hour trip to the airport. You will be trapped in traffic for three separate accidents on the drive. Causing you to completely miss work.

No presents my bum.

Don't trust your boyfriend when he suggests that Christmas presents should not be exchanged between the two of you. He will get you a present and you won't get him one.

Cook the ground beef before you put it in the enchilada dish.

Don't ever mention that you have a nasty wart on your toe to anyone that you don't want to see it. They will incessantly bug you to show them.

Don't offer to drive someone to the airport in the hopes that they will decline the offer. They won't.

Dancing/singing in the library while filming to make a music video is more awkward than you think it will be.

Making a cake look pretty is not as easy as it sounds. Especially with homemade frosting.

If you ever get the chance to pet a llama, take it. SO WORTH IT. Even if they poop all over the grass in front of your apartment. Also, don't expect the poop to be cleaned up. Ever.

When cereal boxes attack.

Beware of cereal boxes. They can slice open your pinky fingerif you aren't careful.

check your hair before you leave for work every day just on the off chance that there is oatmeal in it. It's ebarrassing to have someone else tell you about the leftover breardfast in your hair.

Don't constantly pick at your skin. You will end up with open wounds all over your hands.

When cutting sweet potatoes at someone else's house, it's okay to ask for a bigger, sharper knife. Otherwise when you are almost done the others will look over, laugh that you used such a small knife, then offer you the bigger one while you deny the offer in embarrassment. And your hand will ache for a while too.

Broken teeth.

When making caramel apples don't melt/cook the caramel too long. It will end up being rock hard.

Don't go to grandma's house over Thanksgiving break expecting to eat even semi-healthy. It won't happen.

If your sister tells you to just play it cool with a guy you like, listen to her or else you"ll just give yourself unnecessary stress.

You know that rug burn you got on your hand that took a turn for the worst and developed a scab? Don't pick the scab. It'll just make the wound worse.

If you have an old "friends with benefits" make it clear that those days are over. He might try to get you to makeout again. Your new boyfriend probably wouldn't like that.

You were listening to that whole video?

When watching youtube videos while your roommate is doing homework, make sure your head phones are plugged all the way in. Otherwise a few minutes into watching an alligator video she'll say "you know your headphones aren't plugged in, right?" Then you'll notice they are only plugged part of the way in. Sound was still coming out of the computer. And you might feel like an idiot.

Don't offer to be the "attacker" in a self defense class your roommate is teaching. You might actually get hurt.

When dying your hair pink so you can dress up as Tonks for the Harry Potter movie premier, make sure to get the front of your hair pink before the hair dye runs out. Otherwise when people look at you from the front they won't be able to see the pink. 

When going to a cabin for the night make sure you bring a blanket that will actually keep you warm in the 50 degree basement all night. Even wearing the one piece snow suit you found in the closet to bed won't keep you warm.

When going to a cabin with a bunch of girls, dressing up in the one-piece snow suit you found in the closet and then going on adventures in the huge cabin is always a good idea.

Roommate's shouldn't cut hair.

If you let your roommate (who has never cut hair before) give you a "trim" make sure she knows that a trim means only a short amount. You might end up with a lot shorter hair than you expected.

before the hair was cut

If your gas light has been on for three days, it's probably time to get gas. Being stuck at a red light with a line of cars behind you is not fun.

If your roommate tells you that apartment 107 is watching Harry Potter right as you pass their door, don't put your ear against it to listen. Two of the girls from that apartment might walk up right then. They will think you are such a creeper.

If you have really bad gas, make sure you are never alone with another human. When you let one rip they will know its you. And even if they pretend not to notice, both of you know the truth.

Don't judge me.

Don't promise an old summer camp roommate of yours (who is still in high school) that you'll go to her birthday party if you really don't want to go. You will feel really old and awkwardly stand by the food table the whole time. Then you'll be ashamed to admit the you actually had some fun at a high school party because you forced Kayleen to go with you.

Don't be too stingy to buy lotion in the winter. Your skin will hate you.

If you sleep at a friends house, beware of which blanket you pick to sleep with. If you choose the biggest, fluffiest one you will wake up in the middle of the night soaked in sweat.

Don't tell your family that you like a boy until he is your boyfriend because they will continue to refer to him as your boyfriend even though you guys have barely held hands.

Excuse me! *blush*

Don't eat three pieces of toast for breakfast made with extra fiber bread. You're going to wish you hadn't later in the day.

If you have an eight page paper to write you should put it off until the night before its due. That's what I did and i ended up with 102% on it. Strange, I know.

If you left your phone at home all day, don't go back expecting a text from the boy you like. He didn't text you.

If you are trying to reheat some curry in the microwave, take it out of the styrofoam bowl first. Unless you want the curry to melt/burn through the bowl.

Darn you, Facebook.

If you are acting really boring and dead, it's probably because you didn't get enough sleep last night. And staying up late on facebook so you and your roommate can chat with someone saying the exact same thing at the same time doesn't help the situation. (even if it is one of your favorite things to do)

When talking about cute boys with your roommate, beware. She may confess to you that she had a huge crush on a FOURTEEN year old this past summer. Yes, she's nineteen. "He's so hot" are words you never want to hear about a kid who has not even reached puberty yet.

When you go to take a nap at 10:00 pm so you'll "be more awake to do math homework", don't even try to convince yourself its just a nap. Everyone knows you won't wake up until your alarm goes off in the morning. Therefore math homework will be left undone.

If you are finally, after more than two months, getting the hang of your job, don't get too excited. Your boss will tell you that you have been transferring him from his bed to his wheelchair wrong the entire time you worked there.

Wait... what's the plot?

Don't watch a movie you legitimately want to pay attention to if you are with a super cute boy you have a crush on. You will end up thinking about him the entire time and have no idea what is happening in the movie. Especially once he holds your hand.

When making homemade hot chocolate, read the directions carefully or you might put in four times the required amount of cocoa. (actually, don't read the recipe carefully because extra cocoa makes it absolutely delectable.)

If you are thinking of switching your major, don't take too many classes that count towards your major because once you decide you'll have a bunch of empty credits that count for nothing. And you'll know way more about metals/polymers/ceramics than you ever wanted to.

If your favorite pair of jeans have a hole in the crotch and the zipper is constantly coming down and they look old, just get a new pair. And until you get a new pair your sister Natalie might remind you of how bad they look every time you wear them.

Sorry roommates.

Don't write a post in the midst of your anger. You might regret it later.

Simmer down, girls.

Don't try to convince your roommates the tub is not an emergency. They will get defensive and calmly lecture you (in anger), while implying you fail at life.

In my apartment we have two shower/tubs. One of them regurgitates water and starts to fill up the tub, so we have stopped using it, but I have noticed it only starts filling up when the other shower is being used. When nobody is using the other shower, the water level slowly drops. This morning we had three girls take showers, so the tub was filling up until it was only a few inches below the rim. All of my roommates were utterly freaking out, calling the emergency maintenance line so that it didn't overflow. I tried telling them that it wasn't quite an emergency. It would not overflow because none of us were taking any showers for the rest of the day. Then things turned ugly. Apparently even though the definition of "emergency" is if it will immediately cause damage to the apartment, this is still an emergency. We have a lot of girls with strong opinions living in this apartment, and they proceeded to tell me how dangerous it is and how it will probably overflow during church, despite that the water level has already gone down an inch. Silly girls. 

Don't go on a date to a comedy sports where the host might possibly ask everyone your section to name the last person you kissed. If you have not kissed your date yet, it will be awkward.

If you stay up until four AM to write a paper and have to get up at six, don't look up Chinese rappers like Wang Xiaolei for the whole two hours. Just go to sleep.

Read the recipe carefully.

If you attempt to make cornbread for the first time, make sure to use baking POWDER, not baking soda. It makes a huge difference.

If your name starts with an A, don't be surprised to get three accidental pocket phone calls in one day. Your name is one of the first in people's contacts, so expect to be called often.

The clicker for you car door doesn't work for your apartment door.

If you are particularly clumsy and you are walking up stairs with a friend who is carrying a plate of cookies, make sure you are in front. Otherwise you might trip up the stairs and bump your friend who will fall and drop the freshly baked cookies. But if you are  not afraid of germs, you can pick them up and eat them. They taste good still.

Young and "Freaking" Restless. My Bad.

If you haven't decided on a title for the paper you are writing yet and put in a fake title, don't use "freaking". You might forget to change the title.

Did I do that? Never.

I hear about the opposite of this sometimes, but if you are walking in the halls and hear someone randomly say kind of loudly, "Hey, how's it going?" don't assume they just answered the phone. They were talking to you. Then you'll feel dumb, and they probably will too when they ask again.

If you happen to go skinny dipping/streaking late at night in a river, three words of advice:

1.  Don't forget where you put your keys if your clothes are still locked in the car.
2. Don't streak far from where you parked. A car might come right then, and you will have to sprint back to the car to hide, tearing up you bare feet. 
3.  Don't go in November. It's cold.

 If you put tons of hairspray in your hair for a Halloween costume, don't wait a long time to wash it. Because of the hairspray you won't be able to brush it and it'll get extremely knotted. Plan on using a ton of extra conditioner once you do get around to showering.

Human snails? Interesting...

When going to a Halloween foreign language film festival, just because the first Asian film was scary/confusing/totally wicked, it doesn't mean you should stay for the second one. It will be about people being possessed and turning into giant snails. Not quite what you were expecting. And you will walk ten minutes in the pouring rain to get there. Not worth it. (but kind of worth it so you and your roommates can make fun of it for the rest of the semester)

girl from the 40's, Dr. Seuss's Whos, and Boo from Monsters Inc.

paper towels under the lip. do we look like real Whos?

If you set up a meeting with your math professor in hopes that he'll assure you that you'll pass the class, don't. He'll make you feel worse.

If bread is your favorite food of all time, make sure you are always stocked. The day you run out of bread will be a sad day.

When you are falling asleep in class, watch where you put your hand that's holding the pen. You might end up writing all over your pants.

It saves water!

Don't ever tell anyone that you pee in the shower. They will never look at you the same.

If you are teaching a particularly loud/boisterous class, shut the door to the classroom. Otherwise an instructor that has been there longer than you will make a point of being obvious shutting her door, silently letting you know you are being to loud.

If you slick kitchen floors, don't wear socks and then attempt to run across the kitchen to your roommate who is calling out. You will slip. And fall. Hard.

Making too many naked jokes just gets awkward. Limit yourself to three in one night.

A little TOO much roommate bonding.

If you take a shower and forgot your towel outside the shower- BEWARE. When you call out "anyone?" to make sure the coast is clear, your roommate will think you are calling for someone and will come out to see what you want. Right when you are running to get your towel. Completely soaked and stark naked.

If you hate cherry yogurt, make sure you look closely at the label. You might be buying cherry cheesecake yogurt instead of strawberry cheesecake.

If a complete stranger comes up to you and acts like they know you, don't freak out. Just remember that you look a lot like your sister sister. They think they're talking to her, not you.

"Ummm, I'm actually Stefanie's sister."

When you set your bagel with cream cheese on your passenger seat, don't throw some gloves on the seat after. You will have cream cheese on your gloves and little fuzzies in your cream cheese.

At least I made it to the second class.

If it is the first day teaching your new class, meaning it's crucial you get there on time, make sure your roommate does not unplug your phone before you wake up in the morning. Because it's so old, it will die and you will not wake up to the alarm that you set on it. Then when your sister/co-worker tries to call you, it will go straight to voice mail. She'll have to look up your address on your employee forms, but unfortunately when you wrote those you didn't know your apartment number. There is 36 apartments in your complex, and she'll have to try hunting you down, only to eventually find you asleep in your bed. (thanks nat!)

Seriously Natalie, you are a saint

Don't wear capris and a thin sweatshirt if it's going to be in the forties all day long. You will be freezing.

When texting a friend you haven't talked to in a while, don't start the conversation asking about his girlfriend by saying, "Are you engaged yet?!" He will respond with, "No, we broke up."

If you are easily distracted and the people around you are talking about giving back massages, make sure that when you say "mine has warts on it" they know you are talking about your pumpkin not your back.

Pointless running.

If you notice that it's pouring rain outside, but you need to go get your laundry from the laundromat, don't attempt to sprint there. It won't help you stay dry. In fact, while running you will step in a massive puddle and soak the bottom of your sweats. And someone will be standing by the laundromat watching you the entire time.

If you are with a boy you like who is talking in Spanish on the phone and he asks you if you know the language, say no. Or else he will say "I'll talk to you later" in Spanish then hang up with the person he's talking to.

When carving pumpkins with some friends don't mention how you eat pumpkin seeds because you will feel dumb when you find out you have been eating the shell of the pumpkin seed your entire life and didn't know it.

If you just barely put a mint in your mouth, make sure nothing gets you excited because you will swallow that mint before you can even enjoy it.

Jonsi who?

If you called the radio and won tickets to a concert, make sure you get to the radio station office before it closes. Otherwise you won't get the tickets. And you'll miss the concert. For my case, this wasn't that bad because it was Jonsi's concert. Who's Jonsi, you ask? I still have no idea, and I looked him up. (with kayleen)

If you are trying to go across the crosswalk on a busy six lane street, make sure you have time to cross. If you don't, you will have five lanes left to walk accross and traffic that wants to run you over. You might want to sprint to the other side. (with kayleen)

When putting the jar of jam back in the fridge, make sure it gets all the way on the shelf. If not, you'll end up with glass shards and jam all over the floor.

If you are way into a guy, make sure you don't accidently over hear him talking to his friend about a girl he wants that goes to a different school. That's just depressing.

Not a creeper.

If you are staring at your roommate while she's sleeping, make sure she doesn't wake up. This could do with some explaining. Hannah, my roommate, talks in her sleep every night. I kind of get excited about what she's going to say every night, and most often she talks right after she shifts a little in bed. I was minding my own business reading a book when she moves a little, so I stare at her, the suspense killing me, waiting for her to say some weird thing in her sleep, but in stead she opens her eyes. Oops. She caught me staring at her while she was sleeping. And to make it even more awkward, she looked at me and said 'hey."

If you cut your toe and its bleeding, don't forget about it. Blood will get all over.

If you get into an elevator that only has one person in it, watch out. The elevator gets really quiet when the doors shut.

Only talk to yourself when you are actually by yourself. Otherwise you'll get weird looks.

Birthday joy.

Don't assume that just because it's your birthday your roommates will take out the trash and unload the dishwasher. They won't. You will.

If someone says "happy birthday!" to correct response is not "you too!"

If your boss says you don't have to come to work because he's in Idaho, remember that. If you don't you'll waste 20 minutes driving there, an hour doing nothing because you locked your keys in your car, and another twenty minutes driving home.

If you go to eat a cinnamon raisin bagel and don't like chocolate chip bagels then look very closely at your bagel before you eat it. Those might not be raisins.

Never get an apartment below the girls in 107. I don't know what they do late into the morning (see-who-can-stomp-the-hardest game?), but its loud and will keep you awake.

Mmmm Crunchy.

If you are trying to become a homemaker and make some fresh bread, don't leave it out all night. It will get really stale.

If you are an avid reader and have a list of forty books you want to read, remember to bring it when you go to the library.

When your roommates are being loud so you can't concentrate to do your homework, covering your ears with pillows or sticking toilet paper in your ears doesn't help. (but there is a video of twelve hours of white noise on youtube that you can listen to at full volume that partially drowns the sound of loud roommates)

If you are defrost some chicken tenderloins, make sure you put the weight in the microwave as .5 lbs and not 5 lbs or your chicken will get thoroughly cooked rather than just thawed.

Procrastinating- I'll never learn.

If you have an eight page paper due, don't wait until the night before to write it. And especially don't waste time surfing the internet because you don't want to write it. You will end up being dead tired the next day from lack of sleep, you'll forget to bring the math book you teach out of to class, you'll forget that you have an in-class dance test right after work, and you'll also forget to do your math homework.

If you are changing into your pajamas right before bed, make sure the blinds are closed first.

If you go to take a drink out of your water bottle and no water comes out, it's probably because the lid is still on.

No matter how many times you look online to see how cheap you can buy a specific snowboard, it will never be any cheaper.

The scootin' adventure.

never, and i mean NEVER, forget that you parked your car far away and then remember right as you are going to bed.

Every Monday and Wednesday I get off work at 1:00 and my first class starts and 1:00 also, so I always rush to class and park in the parking lot closest to that class so I am only ten minutes late, rather than twenty. Yesterday I did the same thing as always, and when I finished my last class I forgot about my car and walked home. This happens fairly often. But last night I was hanging out and playing games all night, so I ended up getting back to my apartment at about midnight, did a little bit of homework, then got ready for bed. I was climbing into my bed when I suddenly remembered, MY CAR!! The parking lot that I parked it in is a school parking lot, and between the hours of one and four in the morning they ticket cars parked there. I have had four parking tickets in the last year, I don't need another one. But it was past one in the morning, I couldn't go get my car alone! Leslie, Irina, and Hannah were all asleep. Suzy was in bed and Kaitlin was in the shower. I ran into Suzy's room to see if she still had her uncle's car, but she didn't. Kaitlin doesn't have a car either. Great. I guess I'll just get a ticket and make the fifteen minute walk to my car in the morning. But Suzy, being the gracious soul that she is, offered about five times to go with me to get my car. I declined four times. So we suited up, got sweats and sweatshirts on, dried off our hair that was wet from showers as much as we could before we stepped into the frosty air, and set on our way. But we thought hey, a razor scooter would be faster than walking, right? The only problem? I have one but she doesn't. So we took my scooter that I got in third grade and tried to ride it to the parking lot. This sounds all fine and dandy, but my foot can barely fit on the base of the scooter, let alone mine and Suzy's. We had to hold our feet sideways. Okay, that obstacle overcome. Then there was a pushing problem. One of us would kick the other's shoe off, or our legs would hit each other's, and it was just not flowing right, so we started to chant out "push...push...push..." to keep us synchronized. Then we had the problem of staying on the scooter. The person in back has to hold on the person in front with all their weight, and with that tiny scooter base we are talking about full body contact and the person in front has to hold on to the steering bars hard enough to keep both people from falling backwards off the scoot. And then we had to stay balanced, which was the hardest part, so we fell off every two minutes periodically. So if you were driving around Provo in the middle of the night last night, you may have seen two girls on a very wobbly one person scooter scootin' around town, out of breath. We got a few shout outs from some long boarders and a biker. And after a ten minute adventure (yep, we shaved a whole five minutes off our time. worth it? debatable) we made it to my car, which we drove back and parked, and at last went into our warm apartment and our comfy beds to sleep for the night knowing that I was not going to get a ticket that night.


So I'll repeat my earlier words of caution: DO NOT EVER FORGET TO PICK UP YOUR CAR FROM THE PARKING LOT. (unless of course you want a scootin' adventure like me and Suzy had)

The forever-bonded scooter buddies.

Where'd my bread go?

if you make some friendship bread and casually, right before bed, mention to your roommates that they can have some, beware. it will be all gone by the time you wake up in the morning.

no matter how many times you tell yourself that you'll keep track of your pen this time, you'll still lose it.

artichokes should be stored in the fridge. if you store them in the pantry they'll get brown, nasty, and moldy before you remember to eat it.

so many lessons learned

I brainstormed for about five minutes and came up with these, but in the future I'll have less. So these are things I learned the hard way, or almost learned the hard way.

it's harder than you think to find an available blog title. "things i learned the hard way" and "lessons i learned the hard way" were already taken. "stuff i learned the hard way" was available, but really? Stuff? I don't think I'm a fan of that word.

sometimes roommates might not get your sarcasm. and then they'll get angry at you.

if you don't provide appropriate forms of ID for I9 forms, you won't get your paychecks. even if you've almost worked there for two months. you're still not getting paid yet.

if you have a hoarse voice, your singing sounds even worse than normal. you should probably just not sing at all.

when you buy a dozen eggs then drop the bag, they'll break. and then ooze all over your hands. and the counter at customer service. that cardboard carton doesn't work wonders like you think it would.

when you take a 10 hour car ride through las vegas and the surrounding desert in august without air conditioning, it's even hotter and sweatier than you think it will be. the betta fish in your back seat might die of overheating.

if your hair is exceptionally greasy so you put baby powder in it to make it look clean, you might end up walking around all day with a huge white, not fully rubbed it, chunk of baby powder filled hair.

jumping into a pool with all your clothes on is not all its cracked up to be. even if you pose for the camera trying to make it look like it was oodles of joy.

if you're holding really heavy things in your hands and attempt to put them in the freezer, you might try to open the door for five minutes, end up breaking off the handle, then finally putting the heavy items down only to discover there is a lock on the freezer door that you couldn't see at first.

if you have a three gallon pot of beans and you're trying to get the beans into one gallon bags, it's probably not the best idea to pour the beans into the bags. scoop them in with a ladle or something.

The first post...

I have been wanting to make a blog for a while now. You know, join the trend. Three of my four siblings have blogs. The only thing is, those three siblings also have spouses and jobs and money to do things to blog about. Me? I'm an 18 (almost 19) year old girl, sophomore in college, who has nothing worthy to write a blog about. And anything that I WOULD write in a blog I'd rather just write in my journal.

Then I lived through this week. I'm so young and have so many life lessons that I'm still learning, and this week showed me that more often than not, I learn these life lessons the hard way. Because of this sudden realization, I thought I could make an entire blog dedicated to my mess-ups and bad decisions. I thought "hey, that shouldn't be so hard". So here I go.

But first let me name the people I am closest to, and therefore might mention a lot throughout the blog. My siblings: Rocky (wife Joni), Jason (wife Dana), Natalie (husband Jon), and Stefanie. Roommates: Hannah (in my room), Leslie, Irina, Suzy, and Kaitlin. Friends from home: Kayleen, Kati, Olivia, Kelly, Jen, Justin, and Brett. And I'm an aid for a quadriplegic man named Nick. My boss at my other job (math tutor) is Lance.