Saturday, January 27, 2018

Let's not talk about this one...

Today, for the first time ever, I got tea bagged.

By my one year old.

Don’t know what tea bagging is? Let me tell you. It’s when some puts their crotch in your face. And in this case, it was some bare testicles that got smashed into my cheek.

It was after bath time, and the child was running around playing naked. Me and David were lying on the floor just chatting. As it always goes, he wanted to be part of the party, so he climbed over MY FACE to get between Me and David. And thus the tea bagging occurred.

Monday, August 14, 2017


After 10 years of regularly wearing my retainers and 5 years of David watching me put those retainers on almost every night, we just discovered they are glow in the dark.

Poo Horror Stories

From David:
"Well as usual he didn't want a diaper put on so I let him go. He starts grunting by the fan and I tried to grab him but was too late. As I pull him up he steps on the new poo, I put him down to try and change him and he desperately tries To escape, grabbing his poo foot in the process which he then transfers to his side, his hair, and my clothes. We run to the bathroom and start and bath and he's crying but manage to clean him up eventually, then have to come clean the poo in here. I don't even know if I got all the poo off. What a morning."

Our 10 month old hates getting his diaper changed. We try to hold him down as he writhes like CRAZY and yells at the top of his lungs, but sometimes he just gets away or we don't have the patience, so we let him get away. This message was from David, who stays home with Jamie.

Sunday, March 12, 2017

Tiny Baby

David sends me pictures and videos of Jamie while I'm at work. Usually the format of these is just fine - I can see the pictures and watch the videos without any problems. But one fateful day the video that David sent got compressed just right so that it was TINY, TINY, TINY on my screen.

Here is a screenshot of the video on my phone. Yes, that is a tiny baby in the middle if you couldn't tell.


Even after 25 years of writing my name, today I misspelled it.

Undies in the Plant

If your laundry hamper is across the room, right next to your hanging plant, better make sure your aim is good. (Refer to title).

Milky Milk

Little known fact; when you're nursing your baby while topless, it's hard to feel the milk leaking out of the other boob. Consequently, it leaks all over your pillow.

This has happened like five times.