Thursday, October 28, 2010

It saves water!

Don't ever tell anyone that you pee in the shower. They will never look at you the same.

If you are teaching a particularly loud/boisterous class, shut the door to the classroom. Otherwise an instructor that has been there longer than you will make a point of being obvious shutting her door, silently letting you know you are being to loud.

If you slick kitchen floors, don't wear socks and then attempt to run across the kitchen to your roommate who is calling out. You will slip. And fall. Hard.

Making too many naked jokes just gets awkward. Limit yourself to three in one night.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

A little TOO much roommate bonding.

If you take a shower and forgot your towel outside the shower- BEWARE. When you call out "anyone?" to make sure the coast is clear, your roommate will think you are calling for someone and will come out to see what you want. Right when you are running to get your towel. Completely soaked and stark naked.

If you hate cherry yogurt, make sure you look closely at the label. You might be buying cherry cheesecake yogurt instead of strawberry cheesecake.

If a complete stranger comes up to you and acts like they know you, don't freak out. Just remember that you look a lot like your sister sister. They think they're talking to her, not you.

"Ummm, I'm actually Stefanie's sister."

When you set your bagel with cream cheese on your passenger seat, don't throw some gloves on the seat after. You will have cream cheese on your gloves and little fuzzies in your cream cheese.

Monday, October 25, 2010

At least I made it to the second class.

If it is the first day teaching your new class, meaning it's crucial you get there on time, make sure your roommate does not unplug your phone before you wake up in the morning. Because it's so old, it will die and you will not wake up to the alarm that you set on it. Then when your sister/co-worker tries to call you, it will go straight to voice mail. She'll have to look up your address on your employee forms, but unfortunately when you wrote those you didn't know your apartment number. There is 36 apartments in your complex, and she'll have to try hunting you down, only to eventually find you asleep in your bed. (thanks nat!)

Seriously Natalie, you are a saint

Don't wear capris and a thin sweatshirt if it's going to be in the forties all day long. You will be freezing.

When texting a friend you haven't talked to in a while, don't start the conversation asking about his girlfriend by saying, "Are you engaged yet?!" He will respond with, "No, we broke up."

If you are easily distracted and the people around you are talking about giving back massages, make sure that when you say "mine has warts on it" they know you are talking about your pumpkin not your back.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Pointless running.

If you notice that it's pouring rain outside, but you need to go get your laundry from the laundromat, don't attempt to sprint there. It won't help you stay dry. In fact, while running you will step in a massive puddle and soak the bottom of your sweats. And someone will be standing by the laundromat watching you the entire time.

If you are with a boy you like who is talking in Spanish on the phone and he asks you if you know the language, say no. Or else he will say "I'll talk to you later" in Spanish then hang up with the person he's talking to.

When carving pumpkins with some friends don't mention how you eat pumpkin seeds because you will feel dumb when you find out you have been eating the shell of the pumpkin seed your entire life and didn't know it.




If you just barely put a mint in your mouth, make sure nothing gets you excited because you will swallow that mint before you can even enjoy it.

Friday, October 22, 2010

Jonsi who?

If you called the radio and won tickets to a concert, make sure you get to the radio station office before it closes. Otherwise you won't get the tickets. And you'll miss the concert. For my case, this wasn't that bad because it was Jonsi's concert. Who's Jonsi, you ask? I still have no idea, and I looked him up. (with kayleen)



If you are trying to go across the crosswalk on a busy six lane street, make sure you have time to cross. If you don't, you will have five lanes left to walk accross and traffic that wants to run you over. You might want to sprint to the other side. (with kayleen)



When putting the jar of jam back in the fridge, make sure it gets all the way on the shelf. If not, you'll end up with glass shards and jam all over the floor.

If you are way into a guy, make sure you don't accidently over hear him talking to his friend about a girl he wants that goes to a different school. That's just depressing.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Not a creeper.

If you are staring at your roommate while she's sleeping, make sure she doesn't wake up. This could do with some explaining. Hannah, my roommate, talks in her sleep every night. I kind of get excited about what she's going to say every night, and most often she talks right after she shifts a little in bed. I was minding my own business reading a book when she moves a little, so I stare at her, the suspense killing me, waiting for her to say some weird thing in her sleep, but in stead she opens her eyes. Oops. She caught me staring at her while she was sleeping. And to make it even more awkward, she looked at me and said 'hey."

If you cut your toe and its bleeding, don't forget about it. Blood will get all over.

If you get into an elevator that only has one person in it, watch out. The elevator gets really quiet when the doors shut.

Only talk to yourself when you are actually by yourself. Otherwise you'll get weird looks.

Monday, October 18, 2010

Birthday joy.

Don't assume that just because it's your birthday your roommates will take out the trash and unload the dishwasher. They won't. You will.

If someone says "happy birthday!" to correct response is not "you too!"

If your boss says you don't have to come to work because he's in Idaho, remember that. If you don't you'll waste 20 minutes driving there, an hour doing nothing because you locked your keys in your car, and another twenty minutes driving home.

If you go to eat a cinnamon raisin bagel and don't like chocolate chip bagels then look very closely at your bagel before you eat it. Those might not be raisins.

Never get an apartment below the girls in 107. I don't know what they do late into the morning (see-who-can-stomp-the-hardest game?), but its loud and will keep you awake.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Mmmm Crunchy.

If you are trying to become a homemaker and make some fresh bread, don't leave it out all night. It will get really stale.

If you are an avid reader and have a list of forty books you want to read, remember to bring it when you go to the library.

When your roommates are being loud so you can't concentrate to do your homework, covering your ears with pillows or sticking toilet paper in your ears doesn't help. (but there is a video of twelve hours of white noise on youtube that you can listen to at full volume that partially drowns the sound of loud roommates)

If you are defrost some chicken tenderloins, make sure you put the weight in the microwave as .5 lbs and not 5 lbs or your chicken will get thoroughly cooked rather than just thawed.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Procrastinating- I'll never learn.

If you have an eight page paper due, don't wait until the night before to write it. And especially don't waste time surfing the internet because you don't want to write it. You will end up being dead tired the next day from lack of sleep, you'll forget to bring the math book you teach out of to class, you'll forget that you have an in-class dance test right after work, and you'll also forget to do your math homework.

If you are changing into your pajamas right before bed, make sure the blinds are closed first.

If you go to take a drink out of your water bottle and no water comes out, it's probably because the lid is still on.

No matter how many times you look online to see how cheap you can buy a specific snowboard, it will never be any cheaper.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

The scootin' adventure.

never, and i mean NEVER, forget that you parked your car far away and then remember right as you are going to bed.

Every Monday and Wednesday I get off work at 1:00 and my first class starts and 1:00 also, so I always rush to class and park in the parking lot closest to that class so I am only ten minutes late, rather than twenty. Yesterday I did the same thing as always, and when I finished my last class I forgot about my car and walked home. This happens fairly often. But last night I was hanging out and playing games all night, so I ended up getting back to my apartment at about midnight, did a little bit of homework, then got ready for bed. I was climbing into my bed when I suddenly remembered, MY CAR!! The parking lot that I parked it in is a school parking lot, and between the hours of one and four in the morning they ticket cars parked there. I have had four parking tickets in the last year, I don't need another one. But it was past one in the morning, I couldn't go get my car alone! Leslie, Irina, and Hannah were all asleep. Suzy was in bed and Kaitlin was in the shower. I ran into Suzy's room to see if she still had her uncle's car, but she didn't. Kaitlin doesn't have a car either. Great. I guess I'll just get a ticket and make the fifteen minute walk to my car in the morning. But Suzy, being the gracious soul that she is, offered about five times to go with me to get my car. I declined four times. So we suited up, got sweats and sweatshirts on, dried off our hair that was wet from showers as much as we could before we stepped into the frosty air, and set on our way. But we thought hey, a razor scooter would be faster than walking, right? The only problem? I have one but she doesn't. So we took my scooter that I got in third grade and tried to ride it to the parking lot. This sounds all fine and dandy, but my foot can barely fit on the base of the scooter, let alone mine and Suzy's. We had to hold our feet sideways. Okay, that obstacle overcome. Then there was a pushing problem. One of us would kick the other's shoe off, or our legs would hit each other's, and it was just not flowing right, so we started to chant out "push...push...push..." to keep us synchronized. Then we had the problem of staying on the scooter. The person in back has to hold on the person in front with all their weight, and with that tiny scooter base we are talking about full body contact and the person in front has to hold on to the steering bars hard enough to keep both people from falling backwards off the scoot. And then we had to stay balanced, which was the hardest part, so we fell off every two minutes periodically. So if you were driving around Provo in the middle of the night last night, you may have seen two girls on a very wobbly one person scooter scootin' around town, out of breath. We got a few shout outs from some long boarders and a biker. And after a ten minute adventure (yep, we shaved a whole five minutes off our time. worth it? debatable) we made it to my car, which we drove back and parked, and at last went into our warm apartment and our comfy beds to sleep for the night knowing that I was not going to get a ticket that night.


So I'll repeat my earlier words of caution: DO NOT EVER FORGET TO PICK UP YOUR CAR FROM THE PARKING LOT. (unless of course you want a scootin' adventure like me and Suzy had)


The forever-bonded scooter buddies.

Monday, October 11, 2010

Where'd my bread go?

if you make some friendship bread and casually, right before bed, mention to your roommates that they can have some, beware. it will be all gone by the time you wake up in the morning.

no matter how many times you tell yourself that you'll keep track of your pen this time, you'll still lose it.

artichokes should be stored in the fridge. if you store them in the pantry they'll get brown, nasty, and moldy before you remember to eat it.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

so many lessons learned

I brainstormed for about five minutes and came up with these, but in the future I'll have less. So these are things I learned the hard way, or almost learned the hard way.

it's harder than you think to find an available blog title. "things i learned the hard way" and "lessons i learned the hard way" were already taken. "stuff i learned the hard way" was available, but really? Stuff? I don't think I'm a fan of that word.

sometimes roommates might not get your sarcasm. and then they'll get angry at you.

if you don't provide appropriate forms of ID for I9 forms, you won't get your paychecks. even if you've almost worked there for two months. you're still not getting paid yet.

if you have a hoarse voice, your singing sounds even worse than normal. you should probably just not sing at all.

when you buy a dozen eggs then drop the bag, they'll break. and then ooze all over your hands. and the counter at customer service. that cardboard carton doesn't work wonders like you think it would.

when you take a 10 hour car ride through las vegas and the surrounding desert in august without air conditioning, it's even hotter and sweatier than you think it will be. the betta fish in your back seat might die of overheating.

if your hair is exceptionally greasy so you put baby powder in it to make it look clean, you might end up walking around all day with a huge white, not fully rubbed it, chunk of baby powder filled hair.

jumping into a pool with all your clothes on is not all its cracked up to be. even if you pose for the camera trying to make it look like it was oodles of joy.



if you're holding really heavy things in your hands and attempt to put them in the freezer, you might try to open the door for five minutes, end up breaking off the handle, then finally putting the heavy items down only to discover there is a lock on the freezer door that you couldn't see at first.

if you have a three gallon pot of beans and you're trying to get the beans into one gallon bags, it's probably not the best idea to pour the beans into the bags. scoop them in with a ladle or something.

The first post...

I have been wanting to make a blog for a while now. You know, join the trend. Three of my four siblings have blogs. The only thing is, those three siblings also have spouses and jobs and money to do things to blog about. Me? I'm an 18 (almost 19) year old girl, sophomore in college, who has nothing worthy to write a blog about. And anything that I WOULD write in a blog I'd rather just write in my journal.

Then I lived through this week. I'm so young and have so many life lessons that I'm still learning, and this week showed me that more often than not, I learn these life lessons the hard way. Because of this sudden realization, I thought I could make an entire blog dedicated to my mess-ups and bad decisions. I thought "hey, that shouldn't be so hard". So here I go.

But first let me name the people I am closest to, and therefore might mention a lot throughout the blog. My siblings: Rocky (wife Joni), Jason (wife Dana), Natalie (husband Jon), and Stefanie. Roommates: Hannah (in my room), Leslie, Irina, Suzy, and Kaitlin. Friends from home: Kayleen, Kati, Olivia, Kelly, Jen, Justin, and Brett. And I'm an aid for a quadriplegic man named Nick. My boss at my other job (math tutor) is Lance.